Ya it has been a long time since i last blogged. Had my dc yesterday and the discussion on practice was chaired be me... It was really ironic that I actually facilitated the discussion since I am not diligent practioner of the dharma, still trapped in the world of samsara and still very ignorant... However i was very inspired byAjahn Chah, the author of the Path to Enlightenment who exhorted all buddhists to be relentless in their search for the truth...
However much external help we receive, the path has to be walked by us.
Many interesting questions were thrown up during the discussion… Luckily for me, I didn’t have to speak a lot as the audience (esp Rodney, RS and WF ) were enthusiastic and generous with their inputs… Q that most buddhists would ask themselves at some point in time : what does it entail for me to practice the dharma? R said that it’s the awakening and realisation about the true nature of things… I have searched deep within me and agree fully with what R has said but the peace and tranquillity that I have xperienced is sufficient to provide me with the energy to continue the Buddhist path. I truly believe that my search will bear fruit one day if I place my faith in the triple gem… There are times that I strayed from the path, indulging myself in samsaric pleasures , and being lax in my practice but somehow, the triple gem has always led me back to my original path… I also recognise times when I try too hard in getting things right to the brink of self torture… The Buddha is so wise when he said that we should all walk the Middle Path.
Overall the effect that Buddhism has on me is a positive one… My inner turmoil and internal insecurities and internal struggles have lessened by a bit... I am comfortable spending time alone with myself and actually relish those moments when I am doing things alone… Of course I am not isolating myself or anything… Most importantly, I am more contented with what I have but there are still things that I hanker after. Insults and hurtful words have lesser impact on me…
We had a wonderful reunion dinner at Guild House after the discussion. I had a good time engaging in a banter with my senior, my… The food was, as usual, fantastic and it’s the second yu sheng I had this month…=) DC has this wonderful magic raising my spirits…
After dinner, DH sent the ppl living in the east back. In his car, we discussed about the common dishes different dialect groups had for reunion dinner… Interesting names for those dishes…
The beautiful night was however marred by some honest feelings and opinions… I am just too naive and gullible ! I am sorry for the anguish that I have caused to the other party unwittingly…
May everyone be at peace with themselves … Happy CNY… (Sorry for the melancholic tone )
