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Monday, May 31, 2004

Something terrible happened to me over the weekend and I am still feeling very sore over the whole incident. The emotional trauma and mental scarring inflicted on me is unfathomable to most people and even to myself, when I should, as a firm believer of the Buddhist faith, learn how to let go. Easier said than done! My blood is still seething with rage and fury and all I could think of is vengeance... Ok, I may be exaggerating but this is what I am feeling right down this moment.

I shan't disclose anymore about this annoying experience bcos it's embarrassing ...

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Forget to add...
Did anyone notice Jennifer Hudson's sour face on tv yesterday? she was, in my opinion, giving that look of i-am-more-qualified-than-any-of-the-contestants-to-be-in-the-final-two. Maybe, I am just being too sensitive, reading too much into ppl's faces but I guess there must be some sort of bitterness in her since she got booted out of the competition at the time when she was at her peak. or, perhaps record companies haven't come knocking at her door? Final Judgement: her diva attitude will do her no good if she wants to stay afloat in this competitive industry.

Jasmine Triz got a recording contract from an independent record company from Hawaii but she has yet to respond to it, according to e online. Jasmine is just bidding for time to see whether any of the record giants would sign her on. I guess she can just continue living in her fantasy dreamworld. It's very lucky for her to have a contract after her many lacklustre performances.

Ok, Fantasia Barrino is crowned American Idol on 27/5/2004 at 1030 (Spore time). To say I am not disappointed would be deceiving myself because I have always supported Diana Degarmo since the auditions when she travelled 6000 km from Snellvillve all the way to Hawaii. ok,She did fumble for her last song, "Don't Cry Out Loud" by Melissa Manchester, probably due to the immense stress after listening to the judges' praises for Fantasia's rendition of Summertime. Diana shouldn't have sung that song again after a short span of one week when audiences have such a good impression of that particular superb and flawless performance.

Personally, I cannot understand what is so fantastic about fan's singing other than the fact that it's unique. But UNIQUENESS DOESN'T EQUATE WITH SUPERIORITY! Judges, especially Randy Jackson are always too eager to heap praises however bad her performances are. But XC told me, "u never see a bad performance from fan, only not up to expectations." ok, i will agree with his statement only to a certain extent, because half of the time, I am not very sure how to cateogorise her performances. She sang "I believe", with unbelievable generous praise lavished by the judges when I thought it was only a mediocre performance, with many hoarse/strained notes interweaved within the melody. I prefered Diana's I believe since she sang with so much gusto and verve!

Ok I can't stop gushing about Diana's brilliance... Deep down my heart, she is my ultimate American Idol. I wish both of them successful careers!

Guess I will suffering from Idol drawback symptons next week without my weekly dose of Idol performances. Singapore Idol will be aired in September! Looking foward to it! I dun believe that Singaporeans can't sing as good as, if not better than Americans. W shall see...

Monday, May 24, 2004

Diana Degarmo and Fantasia Barrino are the final two!

I am so excited about the final showdown bet the black diva and the cutesy snellville high schooler.., I am betting on diana degarmo because she looks more like an idol to me, with a chubby look and a powerful voice. Even if Fan wins, I wouldn't be sore because her performances have been consistently great and her win would be well-deserved. But I read on a particular website that Clive Davis will sign her on no matter whether she wins or not. But either way, both of them will eventually clinch a recording contract and will continue to have successful careers. But I really hope that Latoya will get a recording contract and the last piece of news that I have heard was that she would try for a recording contract with elton john's company...

I am so glad that jasmine Triz,the weakest link, was booted out last thursday. I changed my msn nick to "Jasmine Triz is finally out... Her father can no longer stay in the mansion" Ok, my ami-crazy ns friend can't understand why I dislike jasmine so much and now even her father got on my nerves. Dun u think that jasmine triz father likes to snatch the limelight... There was this particular episode when he went to meet Gloria Estefan with her daughter. For goodness sake! I myself dun particularly understand why I dislike Jasmine too but one thing for sure is that her performances sank faster than Titantic after her first splendid performance of Inseperable by Natalie Cole. Clive Davis really did her in when he chose "All by myself" for Jasmine to sing, when Latoya did such a great job during the final 32 performances.


Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win! Diana Degarmo will win!

Once again, I am unemployed. Ad Hoc jobs are really difficult to find these days. My friend was asking me why not find a one month job... Save all the trouble of searching for another job. It's not that I dun want to find a one month job but 1)there are not many of such jobs available and 2) the available one month jobs require some form of experience which I have zero.. or some form of expertise like accounting and 3) too much competition among ntu,nus and poly students. My next job would be two weeks later when I will be an invigilator of the annual acca examination at St Margaret... The pay is good, considering the amount of effort I have to put in... Just walk up and down...

I am too free which is why I am blogging excessively, finishing up those unfinished blogs last week. I am starting to read and my first book is THe Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan, a book that I have chanced upon in the library. It's a light read which doesn't involve much brain power. I also borrowed a few travel books, hoping to finish planning my aust itinerary by this week.


I am waiting for my sis' friend to return from the us because i have asked him to bring back the whole series of sex and the city... The 4 seasons of sex and the city will most likely keep me occupied till July.


Once again, I am unemployed. Ad Hoc jobs are really difficult to find these days. My friend was asking me why not find a one month job... Save all the trouble of searching for another job. It's not that I dun want to find a one month job but 1)there are not many of such jobs available and 2) the available one month jobs require some form of experience which I have zero.. or some form of expertise like accounting and 3) too much competition among ntu,nus and poly students. My next job would be two weeks later when I will be an invigilator of the annual acca examination at St Margaret... The pay is good, considering the amount of effort I have to put in... Just walk up and down...

I am too free which is why I am blogging excessively, finishing up those unfinished blogs last week. I am starting to read and my first book is THe Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan, a book that I have chanced upon in the library. It's a light read which doesn't involve much brain power. I also borrowed a few travel books, hoping to finish planning my aust itinerary by this week.


I am waiting for my sis' friend to return from the us because i have asked him to bring back the whole series of sex and the city... The 4 seasons of sex and the city will most likely keep me occupied till July.


I spent my Thur, Fri and Sat doing stocktaking and tagging at KWE… I was woken up by a phone call early THur Morning by Kelly services, my agent. Feeling groggy and bushed due to the sleep debt I had incurred , I didn’t particularly want to take up this job, especially when I was given last minute notice and the pay unattractive. But the agent kept persuading me and in the end i relented. Anyway the workplace is quite near to my house and i can reach there within thiry minutes.

Kwe is in charge of import and export... and they had to export unsold branded stuff (agnes) to hong kong for re-sale as soon as possible. Wow, those coats were unbelievably exorbitant. There was this particular heavy leather coat which costs an astonishing SGD$2480. Even one plain t-shirt costs $60.

I made some friends and they were teasing me of my naviete when I wanted to report the exact break time we had on my time sheet. All of them were from poly and I realised that jc ppl are really pampered and spoilt. Ok, this may be a overgeneralisation but it's true to a certain extent when u compare our lives with theirs. They had to juggle school work with work. The only thing which made me similar to them, in their words is that I am working. "How many jc ppl do u see work?"they asked. Actually this is an untrue statement because there are quite a number of my friends working in f& b industry. Perhaps if u consider the relative proportion of jc and poly ppl working, their deduction would be true. Some of the jc ppl, they claim, are snobbish, think a world of themselves when they have zero pratical experience and are only willing to associate with ppl whom they deem intellectually level with them. I was confounded when they made such sweeping statements about jc ppl but I did not defend vehemently because I knoe that this is true to a certain extent. But I told them the impressions they get from jc ppl may be a misguided one as not all jc ppl are proud and snobbish.JC ppl can be unassuming too and it really boils down to ur character in the end. Maybe at times, our elitism is realli working against us or maybe, it's just cultural differences which deepens this chasm between jc and poly ppl.

But those friends I came to know in this short span of time are nice chaps!

I should be sleeping at this point in time as I had very little sleep for the past two consecutive days. only 2 hours each day! But since I am online now, I may as well just write my experiences down...

I recieved a phonecall from ester on Sunday afternoon, asking me whether we should meet up at Simei MRt station before proceeding to the chalet. I was utterly shocked because 1) this piece of news came so sudden and I had made prior arrangements to have lunch with jiabin and jack and david and 2) our anat group actually had a chalet! I must admit that our anat group is quite fragmented and we seldom had any outings together besides one koka lunch. That's why you can imagine my surprise!

We spent two fulfilling days in the SAFRA chalet, though the turnout wasn’t exactly favourable, with few ppl having to go in the middle of the chalet. We did the usual stuff, like playing bridge and majong and I was truly appalled that some of my anat classmates do not know how to play bridge after two years in jc… ha

Luckily, we had Carrie driving us around. If not, we would have been bored to tears staying in the chalet playing bridge and majong. We went to change village at around one am in the morning and guess what did we see? It was quite a sight seeing transsexuals/ transvestites hailing taxis/ soliciting for customers? WE spent three hours chatting about everything under the sun: music, movies, American idol, our plans for the holidays, backpacking, etc… I kinda got to knoe my anat friends better , esp their interests.

On the second day, I went cycling in the late afternoon wih carrie, huiling and Justin, the guys preferring to laze in the house playing ps games. It was a pleasant cycling experience, though I am still not very comfortable with changing gears and changing resistance. We went all the way to the lagoon and ordered coconut juice to quench our thirst. Wow, that was heavenly. The first coconut that I ordered, was unfortunately devoid of any flesh and I felt cheated But the second cocnut, though smaller, had so much fresh in it. Smaller is better, I truly believe.

W went back to out chalet and to my aghast (act, it was kind of expected… I was betting with carrie that no one would have started the fire), no one started the fire and it was already six!!! I started the fire, together with justine’s help. The smouldering fire makes it the best fire to cook food. Crab sticks, Hot Dogs, chicken wings, beef steak, sambal sotong, barbecued potato, sweet corn, cocktail--- we had a splendid dinner!

Overall, the chalet was a fun experience, albeit some minor hiccups.

) The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were travelling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. "How can big disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the little monk. But he kept quiet.

The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite."

The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"


[This very old Chinese zen story reflects the thinking of many people today.We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous.

But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the "pretty lady" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the "pretty lady".

We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, immediately after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over. It is just that simple.]



2) The Frogs

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was hocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, "There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs ---millions of them. They croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!" So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks. The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, "Well... where are all the frogs?" The farmer said, "I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!"


[Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]



3) The Turtles

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. Turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place for their outing. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he
returned.

The family consented and the little turtle left. Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years... six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "SEE! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."


[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations.We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.]

Friday, May 14, 2004

Realise that I should start discussing serious stuff after reading other award winning blogs which discuss in depth stuff instead of their daily trivial activities.

I shall just start off by commenting about carcinogen's political inclinations.

First of all, I am very glad that opposition Congress and its allies won the incumbent National Democratic Alliance (NDA) led by Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee contrary to polls that were conducted before the election. It's not that I am extremely opposed to NDA's rule. NDA has done a pretty good job these years, as attested by India's steady economic growth and declining memployment. However, it has been fanning the flames of Hindu nationalism, deepening the chasm between the country's Muslim and Hindu population. Gujarat's unrest is just but an example of the consequences of rising Hindu nationalism. A country must, by all costs, strive to maintain secularism and promote tolerance between the different cultures to have at least some semblance of harmony and peace. Hence, NDA's defeat may just be a blessing to India because I am sure Gandhi's party will be equally competent in running the country minus all the unwanted hindu nationalism

I am a supporter of Gandhi's dynasty (using the the word of carcinogen) bcos they are all so noble, sacrificing their lives for the country. I can't remember the name of female Gandhi who stormed the Golden Temple, rooting out all the Sikhs freedom fighters (Notice I did not use terrorists because I feel they have the right to acheive their own independence since the sikhs have their own religion, own culture, totally differen tfrom the Indians) hiding in the temple. When I read the whole story, I was like WOW... Only a female but yet she is able to wield so much power. Too bad, she was assassinated by her very own Sikh bodyguard. Rajev Gandhi was also killed while trying to resolve the issue of Sri Lanka seperatists.


And Yes, President Gloria Arroyo must win. She is the only capable President that Philippines has since Marcos time. Compared to the other female president in the region who has done nothing concrete for her country except to pander to Islamists, President Arroyo has achieved so much... Kudos! I believe that her goal to eradicate poverty will definitely come true if Philippines places her faith on her capablility!





Jack, how can u support Lien Chen! WHere is his sense of dignity???????

I knew the results of AMI early yesterday morning because I couldn't resist knowing the results beforehand. I sort of expected that Jasmine wouldn't be booted out because of her alligator's tears shed after Simon less-than flattering comments about her mediocre performance. She was like pleading every audience to vote for her and I guess that helped to garner quite a sizeable number of sympathy votes.Wat a ***** ! But she's not to be blamed for this farce since americans are the one voting for her!

Anyone who talks to me about AMI knows my utter contempt and disdain for jasmine. Ia m disgusted with her pretencious behaviour since the start of the competition. Her voice is so fake when she said thank you. Most importantly, she sings as if she has constipation. Her notes are always off-key and using the words of randy and Paula, she has serious pitch problems. The 2 songs she sang for disco night were totally horrendous: she managed to get less than half the song in tune. It was really an ear-sore having to hear her singing. I really hope that she will do everyone a favour by withdrawing from the competition.

Watching the results were even more fruastrating! After she knew that she was in the Top 2 for yesterday's competition, she was so elated that she did not care about the feelings of Latoya and Fantasia. She was like blowing kisses to the audiences, saying thank you in her fake voice, totally oblivious to the jeerings by the audiences. I mean, how can anyone have such low self-awareness? She should really attend some HR modules! After her lousy performance, she should knoe exactly where she stands and at the very least, not be so blatant about her elation. It irks me to see her goading Latoya and Fantasia in an indirect manner. Luckily, Simon was prudent and frank enough to bring her back to senses by saying something like," the audiences say it all... Jasmine, I think u have to write many thank you letters to your Hawaii fans". But I am also irritated with Simon. Had he not made such critical comments, he wouldn;t have swayed many voters into giving sympathy votes to Jasmine. So he is actually the culprit leading to Latoya's ouster. When will he ever learn his lesson?

However, I am sure that Latoya will have an illustrious career ahead of her. Although I profess I am not a Latoya fan, at the very least she has the talent to sustain her in the music industry. Jasmine, pls, spare me the agony of having to listen your record album! Some ppl dislike the fact that Latoya is always so calm and composed, unfazed by anything, hence mistaking her behaviour as cocky. I think that this is her style, and audiences shouldn be too judgemental.

I will continue watching AMI because I am very sure that Jasmine, the villianess will be voted off next week because everyone who is indignant about Latoya's ouster will vote furiously next week. And Jasmine, even twice of Hawaii's population will not prevent u from getting out. No amount of alligator's tears will keep u in the competition. Your constipation-like voice is only suitable to sing at home.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Just read the newspapers. Ha, Rachel Lee and Mark Zee are an item. Right from the start of the show, I knew that Rachel would choose either the ang moh or an ABC because she strikes me as those sort who goes crazy over guys other than pure- bred Singaporeans. Maybe it's not for me to comment, but her actions and behaviours are morally wrong and if I were to see her on the streets, I would definitely give her a piece of my mind. How can she raise the hopes of Sivert, only to crush them right after the show ended? And Mark? He is an ******* who is so damn competitive, always wanting to beat others but ended up losing. Is he the big winner of the show? I doubt so. If Rachel can do that to Sivert, so can she do it to him. That's just the law of karma... We shall see

I am so relieved! Finally passed my driving test. It has been dragging for months, gnawing at my soul, sapping my energy. All the misery, angst, fruastration inside me, only those who have taken the test more than once will understand these feelings. A big Thanks to all those who have supported me ! :)