My spacebar is not working! I am using the on-screen keyboard which makes typing painfully slow... Have been wanting to blog but bcos of my faulty spacebar, I couldn't. This holiday has been particularly busy- zigzagging from one place to another,meeting up with friends

Met up with my sec school classmates. Glad to see everyone doing well with their schoolwork, personal life, career plans. Proud that we are still in contact with one another despite our busy schedules. This outing, though, was full of surprises when S made an unexpected announcement in an unexpected manner which left many reeling in shock... ok, i'm exaggerating but at the very least surprised.

New year is starting in 2 days' time which unfortunately marks the end of my 2 weeks holidays. It has been a crazy 2 week holiday but i felt that i haven't played enough! It's never enough when u r having fun. i dread going back to school, mugging for the upcoming big exam... THe thought of going back to study is giving me the jitters!

I hope that everything will run smoothly in the upcoming new year... 2006 hasn't been a great year for me except for one thing. SO I'm definitely glad that 2006is coming to an end justwhen I felt I'm losing it all...

No matter what, I am grateful to be alive. Being alive means that i'm able to make my tiny contribution to humanity like bringing joy to those around me,etc I really ought to be satisfied with whatever I have... I am really fortunate to be in a state where i am today despite limited resources and i wish tothank all my friends.

Thanks A for listening to all my problems and being there for me when I felt really down. I really felt a great sense of relief after telling u what I have to say though it leaves a bittersweet aftertaste when I think of it subsequently... It was an emotional cartharsis for me. Somehow I felt that i have let u down but it's better this way, at least in my opinion. Just let it be, let it go....

Why is letting go the hardest thing to do?

Ok, b4 I start losing my coherence and go tangential, that's all for tonight...

Good night, Good Luck!

Had lunch with my friends on Sat. It's great meeting up with friends and knowing that everyone is doing fine. Looking foward to WED... I deserve a break b4 school reopens and all hell breaks loose.

Yes, I am fine. Thanks, SW for ur concern. Realli appreciate it. I guess i am those sort who THINK too much, WORRY too much and FEAR too much.

LOL.

Have a nice week ahead.

It's a funny feeling. When it's still school term, u start thinking of the hols, planning what to do . But when the hols really start, U wish that school will start soon. It's when u have so much free time to yourself that bad habits start to rear their ugly head and feelings of emptiness start eating away u.

And F problems remain unsolvable. Sigh. Never ending saga. Wtf.
U cause us so much misery. How can U expect me to forgive u? I can't even bear to look at ur face without feeling angry. U only know how to unload ur shit and expect others to clear ur shit, while U continue with ur heck-care attitude. U cause me to be emotionally- disturbed and the emotional scarring will stay with me this life-time. I knoe u dun care but dun U dare claim credit, cos u dun deserve it n i won't allow it. I shall pay u back whatever I owe u this lifetime. Hopefully, i will have nothing to do with u the nxt lifetime bcos u bring nothing except anger, anguish and misery.

Recently, there are just too many deaths of fit, young men in the prime of their life reported in the newspaper. It saddens me that life is so unpredictable and fragile. We just dun know whether we will live to see tomorrow.

It's a scary thought when I contemplate the idea that i may not survive to see tomorrow. Sometimes, shit just happens and there is no way to avoid it. Nothing is certain except death.
Now, I am just happy to be alive. To be breathing at this very moment.

I wanna wish everyone happiness... and peace.

Somehow I have regained my love for blogging.

Relationships are tricky and messy business. We take for granted our family members when we're together with them. When they're no longer there, we regret why we didn treat them better in the past.

Something that I read by Ajahn Sumedho... for the full article, please checkhttp://www.buddhane t.net/nowknow. htm

Romance, inspiration, excitement, adventure, all these things rise to a peak and then condition their opposites, just as an inhalation conditions an exhalation. Just think of inhaling all the time. It's like having one romance after another, isn't it? How long can you inhale? The inhalation conditions the exhalation, both are necessary. Birth conditions death, hope conditions despair and inspiration conditions disillusionment. So when we attach to hope we're going to feel despair. When we attach to excitement it's going to take us to boredom. When we attach to romance it will take us to disillusion- ment and divorce. When we attach to life it takes us to death. So recognize that it's the attachment that causes the suffering, attaching to conditions and expecting them to be more than what they are.

So much of life for so many people seems to be waiting and hoping for something to happen, expecting and anticipating some success or pleasure — or maybe worrying and fearing that some painful, unpleasant thing is just lying in wait. You may hope that you will meet somebody who you'll really love or have some great experience, but attaching to hope takes you to despair.

U never stop grieving. U think that time will heal everything, but the pain never goes away. It stays with u & lies dormant, catching u when u least expect.

That's life., I suppose.

Religion is a double-edged sword. It is supposed to provide solace and comfort, but yet it can be the very source of misery for some. Isn't it ironic?

Have U ever wondered why ppl will want to have a religion? bcos 1) it offers a ray of hope in times of adversities so that we can have enough courage to live on 2) we are afraid of the unknown. Not knowing the unknown is a terrifying thought and many ppl have trouble living with the uncertainty. Isn't it a relief when we know that someone out there- a higher power is protecting us from danger?

But what if things dun happen for a reason? Things happen randomly and not because of the making of a higher being? I mean...hello...how deluded can one be when one says that one has to go through this ordeal because it is a test from god to make one stronger? If something happens, it just happens and U got to stop attributing it to something els bcos it's not going to help.

Religion is supposed to liberate and empower an individual. Yet, I see many ppl becoming incapitated with fear and guilt. It isn't supposed to be like that. We do something right because we know that it's right and not because we're afraid of going to hell.

And I despise... I really despise ppl who use religion as a weapon to manipulate others... to propagate fear in others. Some ppl go around spreading their faith and tell others that if u dun believe in my religion, U will be condemned to hell. I mean, those ppl are spreading their faith because they want to gain entrance to heaven, but at the expanse of the well-being of others.
They are disrupting the peace and harmony in the world. Such acts shouldn be condoned and in fact should be outlawed!

Sometimes I think that it's better for the world not to have a religion. Religion can be so divisive and lethal. How many wars are fought in the name of religion?

So religion really should be a personal thing. So dun impose beliefs on others... Or worse still, imposing beliefs on the others in the guise of secular acts.

Let religion be a guidepost to your life... U set your own rules and regulations ... U interprete what is right and wrong but be honest with yourself ... do not follow blindly what others say... Follow your heart... Choose to do something because u know it's the right thing to do and not because of fear...

The year is coming to an end and this is my first blog post. I guess no one will know that i have resumed my blogging and i intetd to keep it like that. Blogging offers me an avenue to vent my pent-up emotions... However, if you happen to stumble upon this new post, pls
let me know...

Lately, I have been feeling crappy and I can't shake off these feelings,mood. But rest assured, I am not suffering from depression-I'm still able to sleep well, eat well, and definitely no suicidal tendencies. =) And surprisingly there is no cause.

Ok, maybe it's because of unresolved conflicts in my unconscious mind. But for some problems, there are just no solutions. And what do U do with problems which U have no solutions? U just have to ignore these problems and carry on living. These problems will continue to haunt u for the rest of your life but U gotta live with them and play down the magnitude of problems.

We like to convince ourselves that we are happy ppl but how many of us r truly happy? The truth is that there is no real long lasting happiness. Happiness and sadness are inseparable and they are mirror images of each other. Once happiness has passed, we are filled by this void of emptiness which is inevitably going to be filled with sadness and despair. We may try to replace this void with adrenaline-pumping activities but ultimately, this void will always be there, waiting to engulf us when we are most vulnerable.

Life in itself is a huge graveyard and the sooner we come to realise this truth, the better off we are. U may disagree with my opinions but deep down inside, U know that I am right... So stop living in denial.