I have always enjoyed solitude. Some quiet time for myself when I can ponder about everything and anything under the sun. Or simply letting the mind rest, thinking of nothing. Dun get me wrong- I do enjoy the company of my friends. But I believe that we all need some time for ourselves and I try to make sometime for myself every week.

And it is during these quiet solitude that i get to right my thoughts, make important decisions and rejuvanate my soul. In case u r wondering, it has nothing to do with religion whatsoever.

Speaking of religion, I think ppl have this mistaken idea that attending buddhist talks, or weekly gatherings means that one is religiously devout. This is not the case, at least for myself. Bcos I recognise that there r many flaws in my character as well as unwholesome thoughts in my mind, I hope that these talks and advice given can talk some sense into me and serves as a moral guidepost for me. Do not view me as a devout, religious person bcos i 'm far far from it. iam like everyone- self-indulgent, etc. In fact, for all U knoe, I may be more immoral and evil than u r. haha Even with these pearls of wisdom from great masters, I am still the same as before. Like what MY has told me, what will happen to me without these talks?

The reason why I like Buddhism is that it's an all embracing religion. It is non-discriminatory, regardless who u r, where u r from. It's all about compassion, letting go, forgiveness. everything is so positive and peaceful. Yes, there is still heaven and hell but that is not the main focus. bcos heaven and hell r but transient states in the buddhist cosmology.

I recognise that there is still a very, very long way to go. Hopefully i will become a much better person in the years to come.

SMC has withdrawn its recommended charges for GPs and specialists. Is this a good or bad move?
I don't really know.

Yes, we all know about how competition drives down costs in other sectors. Yet,I only forsee this scenario happening to neighbourhood GP clinics where doctors try to undercut each other. Unfortunately, this will not apply to doctors who have a unique set of skills that is highly sought after, e.g. plastic surgery. Surely prices will not drop for famous surgeons who have built a solid reputation over the years. And when a person's life is concerned and is able to afford, he or she will not go for the second best just to save money.

It's unfortunate, in my opinion, that everything nowadays has to be measured in terms of money, healthcare included. Yes, we may have heard about reports that the British healthcare system is in doldrums and badly need a revamp. But, no one will ever be denied health care there, cos basic healthcare is considered to be a basic human right. The real benefit of a free healthcare system is that ppl will not be deterred from seeking medical help bcos of cost issues. Some people may argue that bcos healthcare is free, more ppl will see doctors for minor medical problems, thus increasing the burden of healthcare system. However, bcos of the waiting time, ppl with minor ailments will also be less likely to seek medical help. I am sure that there are patients, who bcos of cost of treatment stop seeing doctors altogether.

And somehow ppl always have the wrong perception that because the bills r high, it must be that doctors r overcharging. But really, the bulk of the costs goes to the tests ordered to confirm a diagnosis. And if molecular work is needed to clinch a diagnosis, then u can't expect the cost to be cheap. The reagents, enzymes and machines dun come cheap. I was also shocked at the prices too.

How do u solve this problem? And why is there a cost issue in the first place? haha, the real problem lies in...

Oops...

Today is a bad day for me... I only realise that i have been handling EB (the mutagenic sub) the WRONG way today. Wat a disaster! I was most apologetic to the rest of the lab staff as I have inadvertently placed their health at risk, on top of mine too.

I try not to think about the mutations that may have occured for the past week. Hopefully, my DNA repair system is still going strong... I may be exaggerating the severity of the situation but it's no joke that lab work is hazardous... Imagine the constant exposure to chemicals which may be potential carcinogens and infectious microorganisms.

Having said that, I think that it's also a mind thing. Being overparanoid is one of the greatest hurdle that we, as medical professions must overcome. I am happy to say that I am not as afraid and paranoid as before. Much as i acknowledge the threat is real, I think that being overly worried and paranoid will make matters worse as accidents usu happen when one spends time fretting over such things. Take all necessary precautions and hope for the best.

I experience my first experiment failure yesterday ... Couldn't get any results after a day of hard work. I finally ran out of beginner's luck. I began to understand that failure is part and parcel of research. A Dr told me that 75% of research work is about failure and if U intend to do research in future, better be comfortable with failure. Failure means having to repeat your experiment all over again, thinking of what could have gone wrong in the process, from pipetting to concentration of solutions used to equipment settings. So many steps can go wrong. If contamination is suspected, the culprit may be the reagentA or B or C, or the culture, so and so forth.

Research is all about perserverence and patience. My only hope is that i will be able to complete the experiment in the next few weeks...=)

After much consideration, I have decided to do 5+ weeks of elective of laboratory research. I know that many m4s have chosen to do a revision posting on either medicine or surgery as a form of early preparation for mbbs and r puzzled why I chose to do this elective. However, I feel that an elective is for u to explore areas which interest u or at least experience a field that U know U probably won't enter in future. Frankly speaking, I am a little bored about clinical medicine after 48 weeks of CM and regard this elective as a breath of fresh air.

I have almost zero experience on research work. So i guess i was rather apprehensive about doing this elective initially cos it's a totally different ball game. But I am starting to like lab research despite the tedious processes, the need for sterility, unpredictability nature, unease of not getting any concrete results. I have to attribute my good experience to my mentor, who has been patiently guiding me all along on the molecular techniques and making this transit a fun and interesting experience.

Lab work is also hazardous. EB, used to chelate DNA is a potential carcinogen. There's no way to avoid not using EB as it's bread and butter of DNA work. Of course, I am paranoid about EB, taking great care not to make big splashes... Besides lab work, I also get to see the workings of a microbiology lab. I did a gram stain under the supervision of Dr D. We learn about gram staining back in year 2 but I was unable to answer q posed by Dr D on the steps of gram-staining and dyes used... ha
It's considered to be basic microbiology which I have long returned to the lecturers after year 2.
But Finally seeing what I learnt b4 in action is great...

Overall, it has been a good experience so far and I hope that the coming weeks will be more exciting!